Learning to Be Still

 There are days when I think "My baby isn't a baby anymore". And then there are days when he wakes up, cranky and grumpy from either too much or too little of a nap. Mad at the world, he lies on the couch and whines/yells about trivial things until I stop what I'm doing, sit down next to him and pull him on to my lap. Nowadays, it takes a little bit to re-arrange limbs and to fit him in my lap, but we cuddle up and he leans his head on my chest, his hand finds my hair, and we both breathe a deep sigh and sit in stillness for a while. I bend my head until my nose brushes his hair, take deep breaths (catching faint whiffs of baby shampoo and, sometimes, sweaty boy) and feel as though my world has stopped for just a few wonderful moments. I stop thinking about what I was doing, what needs doing, and what is not getting done.. and all I think is "This is exactly where I'm supposed to be". We can sit for five minutes or, sometimes, forty-five minutes but it doesn't matter. Each minute is precious and more than worthy of my time. He may not be a baby anymore, but to still be able to give him love and reassurance that all is right in his world.. Well, that's what I'm here for.