School started back up for me on January 13. It's been busy, but not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Right now I have four classes going and one that will start in mid February. With Phoenix in school 3 hours a day, I'm really able to sit down and focus on one class a day in order to stay ahead and maintain the grades I want. After this semester, I'll only need five more classes before graduating with an associate's degree. I plan to finish all that up either at the end of the summer semester or the fall semester depending on class availability and if I can find a way to substitute a class for the chemistry that is required since they only offer that class on campus and I am too far from campus to commute daily.
Mom started her chemo and radiation treatments last Wednesday. She is taking a chemo pill 2 times a day, 7 days a week and receiving radiation treatments 5 days a week for 6 whole weeks. She hasn't been doing too well since starting all that. I guess that's par for the course with those treatments, but it makes me sad and angry that she has to feel so icky. I'm really wanting to be up there but she keeps telling me to wait until spring when she will, hopefully, be feeling better and more able to enjoy my visit. Which I understand, but I want to be there now to help Tony out and help her while she's ill and needing help. I feel so guilty for listening to her and holding off, but I also feel it's my job to listen to her and give her what she's asking for. Even if my gut says to ignore her and come up anyway.
We haven't talked much about her treatments because she chooses not to. We haven't talked about whether or not she has to do this again or if, after 6 weeks, she'll be done for good. There are a lot of questions I want to ask, but if she doesn't want to talk about it, then it's up to me to bite my tongue and think of things she wants to hear for the brief moments I talk to her. I was calling every other day, but have cut back to calling once or twice a week as I worry I'm annoying her and I would hate that. I just worry about her and it's my only way of checking up on her. I can't very well drive over there on a weekend just because I want to. It's times like these where I really hate the physical distance between us.
Speaking of the distance, our future in Lubbock is looking a little shaky. Juan's in a tough industry that lays off a lot of people around this time of year, each year. His company all ready laid off 40% of the main crew in Shreveport and the only thing that's really keeping him employed out here is a test well that everyone is hoping will have good results in the next few weeks. If the news is bad, he'll be out of a job almost certainly and then we'll be at square one. The good thing, though, is that we're preparing for the worst and looking at all our options. Moving back to Louisiana is almost out of the equation. The industry is just too shaky in LA and seems to be drying up with jobs harder and harder to find in oil and gas out there. So, that leaves us with Texas, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Ohio. We've ruled out Ohio because of snow. (Juan hates the cold.) Pennsylvania would be a "maybe" as in: A company offers Juan money that we just can't refuse and then Juan would do three weeks out and one week off while Phoenix and I move back to Louisiana and stay with Juan's mom. We are undecided about Colorado. I like it because it would put me closer to my mom, but it would also put us further away from Juan' mom and she's the one who needs more help, at the moment. So.. let's talk Texas. Basically, if we can get Juan just a few more months of experience, almost the whole of Texas opens up to us. We're really interested in the Austin area followed by the Ft. Worth/Dallas area. We both really want Austin and Juan's sent out e-mails and resumes to a few companies out there. I could definitely see Austin becoming our home for more than a year.
We really have one more year that we can be "nomadic" until Phoenix has to start Kindergarten. I would like us to be settled down by then and try to give him a few steady years in one school. I remember hating the whole moving and switching schools thing when I was young and would not want to put that on Phoenix. Then again, I also told Juan we will go where we need to go and make a life wherever that may be. Phoenix will adapt and survive and we'll be stronger together no matter what. I actually enjoy moving to new places, now, and get excited to think about the next great adventure. I love Lubbock and am happy to be here, but I'm excited to try another place and make another home somewhere.
I've rambled on enough. Time to knock out some Sociology before I need to pick up the kiddo. Guess I'll throw some housework in there as well. Today's laundry and kitchen day. (Yes, I have my "chores" listed on my phone's calendar so I have a daily reminder of what needs to be done. It really helps me stay on top of everything house related as well as school related.)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Hoping For Good Things
My mom goes to the drs tomorrow for her final consult with the radiation expert and the chemotherapy dr. They originally wanted her to start her chemotherapy pill and the radiation treatments last month, but she asked for more time to heal from her surgery/hospital experience and to get her anxiety/depression under control. I'm not sure her anxiety/depression is under control yet, but I'm happy to report that she's feeling a lot better than she has in a long time. That being said, she's very anxious about tomorrow and what may happen. I'm trying to give her the space she needs so I won't hear anything for the next few days... but I'm hoping for a good outcome, one that she will be at peace with, tomorrow.
In other Mom news, their English Bulldog, Buster, had to be put to sleep on Friday. A few months ago, he had been diagnosed with liver tumors (Ironic, eh? Mom has cancer near her liver; Buster has tumors in his liver.) and Mom and Tony decided to just let him live out the remainder of his days at home. They had an option to take him to a local university for an experimental treatment, but that would cost a few thousand dollars and success was not guaranteed. Plus, Buster was already twelve/thirteen years old (The average lifespan of an English Bulldog is about 8-10 years.) and had lived a pretty awesome life. It's a sad thing. He was one of the few dogs I could tolerate and I know my step-dad absolutely adored that dog. The memory of Buster as a wrinkly little puppy has been playing across my mind this weekend. He was soo adorable and such a pain in the ass because he was one feisty little pup. He would jump up and latch onto my mom's bathrobe with his teeth while she would try to walk around the house, getting ready for work. You could just hear that little pup growling as he was dragged up and down the hall. He loved kids though and always wanted to be around them, playing with them. So much so that when the neighbor kids would come over to swim, he would have to wear a special doggy life-vest because he had been known to jump in after the kids and then sink to the bottom of the pool. We thought he was rather dumb until Sophie (An English Bulldog sired by Buster) came along and we realized Buster was rather smart... Anyway, Buster, you snorted like a pig, were stinky, drooled a lot, and would have asthma attacks when too excited, but you were loyal, loving, and patient when the kids used you as a pillow and whatever else they could think of. Thank you for all the laughter and the opportunity to get to know an English Bulldog and fall in love with the breed.
I am also hoping for good things for Phoenix tomorrow. He had a rough day in preschool on Friday. Apparently, he burst into tears off and on throughout the three hours of school. It took me all day to finally get him to tell me what the deal was. Long story short, he told me he thought the teacher was mad at him because he couldn't put his jacket on and he couldn't write his name. So today, we worked on the letter of this upcoming week ("I") as well as a few other letters (B, H, L, T and P). I worked hard to get him excited about learning how to write (Okay, I bribed him with candy) and am hoping he goes to school full of confidence and just knocks those I's out of the park this week. It broke my heart a little to see him so sad and I vowed to work with him every day so that he wouldn't be the last one in his little class to learn how to write his letters.
In other Mom news, their English Bulldog, Buster, had to be put to sleep on Friday. A few months ago, he had been diagnosed with liver tumors (Ironic, eh? Mom has cancer near her liver; Buster has tumors in his liver.) and Mom and Tony decided to just let him live out the remainder of his days at home. They had an option to take him to a local university for an experimental treatment, but that would cost a few thousand dollars and success was not guaranteed. Plus, Buster was already twelve/thirteen years old (The average lifespan of an English Bulldog is about 8-10 years.) and had lived a pretty awesome life. It's a sad thing. He was one of the few dogs I could tolerate and I know my step-dad absolutely adored that dog. The memory of Buster as a wrinkly little puppy has been playing across my mind this weekend. He was soo adorable and such a pain in the ass because he was one feisty little pup. He would jump up and latch onto my mom's bathrobe with his teeth while she would try to walk around the house, getting ready for work. You could just hear that little pup growling as he was dragged up and down the hall. He loved kids though and always wanted to be around them, playing with them. So much so that when the neighbor kids would come over to swim, he would have to wear a special doggy life-vest because he had been known to jump in after the kids and then sink to the bottom of the pool. We thought he was rather dumb until Sophie (An English Bulldog sired by Buster) came along and we realized Buster was rather smart... Anyway, Buster, you snorted like a pig, were stinky, drooled a lot, and would have asthma attacks when too excited, but you were loyal, loving, and patient when the kids used you as a pillow and whatever else they could think of. Thank you for all the laughter and the opportunity to get to know an English Bulldog and fall in love with the breed.
I am also hoping for good things for Phoenix tomorrow. He had a rough day in preschool on Friday. Apparently, he burst into tears off and on throughout the three hours of school. It took me all day to finally get him to tell me what the deal was. Long story short, he told me he thought the teacher was mad at him because he couldn't put his jacket on and he couldn't write his name. So today, we worked on the letter of this upcoming week ("I") as well as a few other letters (B, H, L, T and P). I worked hard to get him excited about learning how to write (Okay, I bribed him with candy) and am hoping he goes to school full of confidence and just knocks those I's out of the park this week. It broke my heart a little to see him so sad and I vowed to work with him every day so that he wouldn't be the last one in his little class to learn how to write his letters.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Updates and Whatnot
I forgot about this blog for awhile. Maybe I didn't forget exactly, but I avoided it. Good news for my mom. The surgery went well. The recovery... not so much. She spent most of November in the hospital trying to get her pain under control as well as drainage and whatnot. She seems to be doing better physically. The pain isn't as bad as pre-surgery and there are times when she sounds like her old self. More so than before surgery. She still has days where she is short of breath and the pain bothers her, but I'm hoping those are getting few and far between the good days. Her anxiety has not gone away and she may have a bit of depression. Which has lead her to ask for anti-depressants and to hold off on the chemo and radiation until some time this month. The chemo will be done via pill but she will also receive high doses of radiation. She doesn't talk about it much and I'm not sure what to expect once her treatments start. I just try to keep our phone conversations short and happy in order to keep her spirits up and in a positive light.
Juan's step-dad passed away a few weeks ago. It was a bit of a shock but not a huge one. His health just began to go downhill the moment he was diagnosed with kidney failure and put on dialysis a year ago. I didn't visit him in the hospital, but Juan did. I am very proud of Juan for stepping up to the plate and taking turns keeping an eye on his stepdad when his brother or mom couldn't be there. His stepdad was a hard guy, lived a hard life, and I can't say for sure if Juan or his brother really loved him, but they did right by him in the end. Just as their stepdad tried to do right by them when they were young. Juan's mom is handling things as well as possible. We stayed and tried to help out as much as we could. We'll be helping her financially until we get everything figured out for her.
I have an overwhelming urge to being writing again. Writing blog posts. Writing stories. I miss writing. I miss pouring out my thoughts on paper and seeing my daydreams get fleshed out and made into something that I wouldn't mind reading. I don't know if I"ll make the time to write every day... like I wan to, but I will try to make the time to write every few days. I am expecting life to get rather hectic once my classes start on Jan. 13th. I signed up for five classes and am worried that I have signed up for too many classes, but I refuse to drop any and will just soldier on and work my ass off. I am still happy to be in school. Even happier to have finally passed that damn math class... with a B!
This is just random crap. It's late. I don't even have my glasses on, but my fingers wanted to do some typing and my thoughts wanted to do some talking. So here you go. It feels good to be back here. To write about anything and everything. Maybe one day I'll even share this with friends and family.
Juan's step-dad passed away a few weeks ago. It was a bit of a shock but not a huge one. His health just began to go downhill the moment he was diagnosed with kidney failure and put on dialysis a year ago. I didn't visit him in the hospital, but Juan did. I am very proud of Juan for stepping up to the plate and taking turns keeping an eye on his stepdad when his brother or mom couldn't be there. His stepdad was a hard guy, lived a hard life, and I can't say for sure if Juan or his brother really loved him, but they did right by him in the end. Just as their stepdad tried to do right by them when they were young. Juan's mom is handling things as well as possible. We stayed and tried to help out as much as we could. We'll be helping her financially until we get everything figured out for her.
I have an overwhelming urge to being writing again. Writing blog posts. Writing stories. I miss writing. I miss pouring out my thoughts on paper and seeing my daydreams get fleshed out and made into something that I wouldn't mind reading. I don't know if I"ll make the time to write every day... like I wan to, but I will try to make the time to write every few days. I am expecting life to get rather hectic once my classes start on Jan. 13th. I signed up for five classes and am worried that I have signed up for too many classes, but I refuse to drop any and will just soldier on and work my ass off. I am still happy to be in school. Even happier to have finally passed that damn math class... with a B!
This is just random crap. It's late. I don't even have my glasses on, but my fingers wanted to do some typing and my thoughts wanted to do some talking. So here you go. It feels good to be back here. To write about anything and everything. Maybe one day I'll even share this with friends and family.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)