Dear Mom,

 You're probably in Spokane now. Or getting ready to be in Spokane soon. I hope your anxiety is low today and your drive over was smooth. I didn't get to tell you everything I wanted to, yesterday, when we talked on the phone. So here's what I wanted to say:
   * I love you and I still need you in my life. Who else could I call for advice for everything from cooking to being a parent?
   * I miss you. I hate that it's been so long since we've been able to see each other. I miss your hugs, your laugh, and the way you always compliment me and make me feel wonderful.
   * You may not like to hear it, nor believe it, but you are such a strong, beautiful woman. I've always been amazed by your beauty and strength. You've held us together through tough times and still managed to have a positive attitude, a smile on your face, and love to share.
   *  I am scared for you, Tony, and the rest of us. Mostly for you. I try hard not to be, but there are times when the fear creeps up.
   * We will have a get together in spring, will take a lot of pictures, have a lot of laughs, and give a lot of hugs.
   * I don't want to celebrate my birthday until I know you're going to be okay.
   * I don't want a present from you. I just want you.
   * One of my favorite memories of you is when you would dance with me.. Even when I was "too grown up" and you'd try to get me to dance with you and then we would laugh. I'll never be too grown to dance with you.
   * Whenever I hear Phoenix singing or humming to himself, I automatically think of you and smile. He, too, has his happy song that he sings/hums whenever he is happy.
   * I can't wait for you to see, hug, and play with Phoenix when we come visit. He takes my breath away at least once a day and I love him more and more as time goes by.
   * When I grow up, I want to be like you.

  I know things will go well, but I will pray and think about you from now until I hear everything went exceedingly well during surgery. Tell them how important you are and that they must do 10000% better than their best for you. Tell them to pamper you and take care of you so you can rest, heal, and begin to finally feel better.

  I love you. I love you. I love you a million times more. Thank you for being my mom and I look forward to talking to you soon. You are in my heart, my thoughts, and my prayers from now until forever. Don't worry about me. Focus on you and call me when you can.

  Love,
    Me