On School, Mom, and the Future

 School started back up for me on January 13. It's been busy, but not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Right now I have four classes going and one that will start in mid February. With Phoenix in school 3 hours a day, I'm really able to sit down and focus on one class a day in order to stay ahead and maintain the grades I want. After this semester, I'll only need five more classes before graduating with an associate's degree. I plan to finish all that up either at the end of the summer semester or the fall semester depending on class availability and if I can find a way to substitute a class for the chemistry that is required since they only offer that class on campus and I am too far from campus to commute daily.

  Mom started her chemo and radiation treatments last Wednesday. She is taking a chemo pill 2 times a day, 7 days a week and receiving radiation treatments 5 days a week for 6 whole weeks. She hasn't been doing too well since starting all that. I guess that's par for the course with those treatments, but it makes me sad and angry that she has to feel so icky. I'm really wanting to be up there but she keeps telling me to wait until spring when she will, hopefully, be feeling better and more able to enjoy my visit. Which I understand, but I want to be there now to help Tony out and help her while she's ill and needing help. I feel so guilty for listening to her and holding off, but I also feel it's my job to listen to her and give her what she's asking for. Even if my gut says to ignore her and come up anyway.

   We haven't talked much about her treatments because she chooses not to. We haven't talked about whether or not she has to do this again or if, after 6 weeks, she'll be done for good. There are a lot of questions I want to ask, but if she doesn't want to talk about it, then it's up to me to bite my tongue and think of things she wants to hear for the brief moments I talk to her. I was calling every other day, but have cut back to calling once or twice a week as I worry I'm annoying her and I would hate that. I just worry about her and it's my only way of checking up on her. I can't very well drive over there on a weekend just because I want to. It's times like these where I really hate the physical distance between us.

   Speaking of the distance, our future in Lubbock is looking a little shaky. Juan's in a tough industry that lays off a lot of people around this time of year, each year. His company all ready laid off 40% of the main crew in Shreveport and the only thing that's really keeping him employed out here is a test well that everyone is hoping will have good results in the next few weeks. If the news is bad, he'll be out of a job almost certainly and then we'll be at square one. The good thing, though, is that we're preparing for the worst and looking at all our options. Moving back to Louisiana is almost out of the equation. The industry is just too shaky in LA and seems to be drying up with jobs harder and harder to find in oil and gas out there. So, that leaves us with Texas, Pennsylvania, Colorado, and Ohio. We've ruled out Ohio because of snow. (Juan hates the cold.) Pennsylvania would be a "maybe" as in: A company offers Juan money that we just can't refuse and then Juan would do three weeks out and one week off while Phoenix and I move back to Louisiana and stay with Juan's mom. We are undecided about Colorado. I like it because it would put me closer to my mom, but it would also put us further away from Juan' mom and she's the one who needs more help, at the moment. So.. let's talk Texas. Basically, if we can get Juan just a few more months of experience, almost the whole of Texas opens up to us. We're really interested in the Austin area followed by the Ft. Worth/Dallas area. We both really want Austin and Juan's sent out e-mails and resumes to a few companies out there. I could definitely see Austin becoming our home for more than a year.

  We really have one more year that we can be "nomadic" until Phoenix has to start Kindergarten. I would like us to be settled down by then and try to give him a few steady years in one school. I remember hating the whole moving and switching schools thing when I was young and would not want to put that on Phoenix. Then again, I also told Juan we will go where we need to go and make a life wherever that may be. Phoenix will adapt and survive and we'll be stronger together no matter what. I actually enjoy moving to new places, now, and get excited to think about the next great adventure. I love Lubbock and am happy to be here, but I'm excited to try another place and make another home somewhere.

  I've rambled on enough. Time to knock out some Sociology before I need to pick up the kiddo. Guess I'll throw some housework in there as well. Today's laundry and kitchen day. (Yes, I have my "chores" listed on my phone's calendar so I have a daily reminder of what needs to be done. It really helps me stay on top of everything house related as well as school related.)